GENEALOGIST'S
DISEASE
WARNING: Genealogy Pox,
very contagious
SYMPTOMS: Continual complaint as to need for
names, dates and places. Patient has a blank expression and sometimes deaf to
spouse and children. Has no taste for work of any kind except feverishly looking
through records at libraries and courthouses. Has compulsion to write letters.
Swears at the mailman when he doesn't leave mail. Frequents strange places, such
as cemeteries, ruins and remote desolate country areas. Makes secret night
calls, hides phone bills and mumbles to self. Has strange faraway look in
eyes.
TREATMENT: Medication is useless, Disease is not
fatal but gets progressively worse. Patient should attend workshops subscribe to
magazines and be given a quiet corner in the house where they can be
alone.
REMARKS: The unusual nature of this disease is
the sicker the patient gets, the more they enjoy it.
I'm my own
Grandpa!
"I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My father visited our
house very often, fell in love with my stepdaughter and married her. So my
father became my son in law, and my stepdaughter my mother, because she was my
father's wife. Sometime afterward my wife had a son. He was my father's
brother-in-law and my uncle for he was the brother of my stepmother. My father's
wife, i.e., my stepdaughter, had a son. He was, of course, my brother and in the
meantime my grandchild for he was the son of my daughter. My wife was my
grandmother, because she was my mother's mother. I was my wife's husband and
grand child at the same time and as the husband of a person's grandmother is his
grandfather, I am my own grandfather".